


Burn

by emjam



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Memory Loss, Post-Finale, i watched the finale yesterday and i will never be okay again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 09:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6046854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emjam/pseuds/emjam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stanley's memories don't come back. Stanford tries to cope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burn

It took him a couple of weeks to realize that the memories weren't going to come back.

At first, Stanford thinks that they're making progress; Stanley had settled into the Shack like he belonged there already, even without the memories to back it up. There's a chance there that he would remember against all odds, and Stanford knows that it's irrational, but he can't let that chance go. When days go by and they still have to remind Stanley of their names, Stanford convinces himself that regaining memories takes time. It's possible, after all; Fiddleford did it, didn't he? He tries for once in his life to ignore the logic spit at himself from his own brain, even though it tells him the truth – Fiddleford's memories had been kept safely contained, and hadn't held an evil demon. They were two very different situations with very different circumstances. Still, Stanford grips that reassurance like a vice, and pushes on. _It's possible. It can happen. It_ will _happen._

By the second week, nothing returns, and they all start to realize that nothing will. Stanford holds on to a last shred of hope, even though he had known the true fate for his brother before it even happened. The kids are hit the hardest. They keep showing him pictures and recounting their adventures, pleading tearfully for Stanley to remember. He can tell that Stan feels bad. Stan can see that they love him but he doesn't even remember who they are. Regardless, watching him, Stanford knows that they grow on him quickly. Stan smiles at them, ruffles their hair, cracks jokes that make them laugh. Even though they're back at the start, he will still love them, Ford knows it.

Mabel and Dipper's farewells are bittersweet. Stanley – the new Stanley – gets to know them all over again, but the kids are still distraught over losing most of their Grunkle. The tears roll down their faces as the bus putters up to the stop, opening its doors. Stan does with simple pats on both their shoulders and an awkward “See ya, kiddos.” That alone is enough to upset them, but they attempt to hide it and say their goodbyes. Dipper hugs Stanford one last time, speaking lowly, asking Stanford to contact him immediately if he figures out any way to bring their Grunkle's memories back. Stanford agrees, even though he knows that he'll never find one. He wears a “Goodbye Stanford” sweater, and Stanley's own sweater is simply held in his arms. Stan doesn't feel right wearing it; in his eyes, he barely knows the girl that knit it.

Waddles chews on Mabel's skirt, and she cries some more, pushing the pig away without any heart in it. Stanford eventually picks up the pig and places it firmly on the bus, waving around a harmless stun gun for good measure. He makes sure the kids are settled, and the bus doors close. Mabel and Dipper wave goodbye from the windows. After a few moments, Stanford can't muster up the energy to keep waving back.

They walk home in silence.

The next day, Stanford wakes just before dawn with a bitterness brewing within him. Anger that this could happen, that he allowed it to happen. There was another way the situation could have been handled without ruining his brother. He could have surrendered, and Stanley would still be whole. He storms out of his room without a purpose, just needing to move. When his foot catches on the carpet in the gift shop, Bill's lone eye staring back up at him, he feels his anger bubbling over and knows that he has to do something.

He grabs the carpet and rushes down into the study above the basement, grabbing any piece of Bill Cipher paraphernalia that his young self had once worshiped, had knelt by in prayer, had sat in front of while they worked on the portal – what a mistake – the eyes stare at him accusingly now. _You did this. You brought him here._

Stanford brings it all outside and burns the tapestries, melts the statues, destroys all remaining pictures of that creature with tears in his eyes. _You did this to him. You did this to us._ He blames Bill for everything, and blames himself too. His blazing anger is reflected in the fire that licks at the cloth and paper. The orange glow lights up his face in the coming dawn, the sun just starting to rise. He sits on the dirty ground, suddenly tired, wanting nothing more to do with any of this ever again. He then hears Stanley's confused voice from the porch – always confused, these days, always wondering about something he once knew – asking him, "Hey... Stanford, what the heck are you burnin' at this hour?" The tears finally fall and Stanford feels more hatred for Bill than he has for anything else in his entire life. The anger burns deep within him, and he stifles the raging fire to turn to his brother, who held no recognition in his eyes, who would never truly know what he did for them, for the world. Stanford's smile doesn't meet his eyes.

"Nothing, Stanley. Just getting rid of some... things."

Stanley walks off the porch into the dust and sits down next to Stanford with a Pitt Cola to watch the fire. They don't say anything, and the sun rises.

**Author's Note:**

> I've only watched the finale once through at this point so sorry for any inaccuracies.


End file.
